Adventures in Dorkville.

As illustrated in the image above, I used to look like a huge dork. I've discovered that this is true for a lot of people in my age group (we can all thank the 80's for that), and though a lot of people seem to hide their former fashion misgivings, I LOVE mine. When I was a kid, my mom would let me pick out my own clothes and put together my own outfits, which granted, didn't always work out so well, but at least I got to try. As I got older, I'd look back at pictures of myself, and for a long time, I was totally ashamed of looking like a damn fool, but I learned from it, and I realized what worked and what didn't.

So now that I'm a semi-grown up with a decent sense of the world, I love looking back on these pictures because it's fraking hilarious. I totally thought that I looked cool, which is great, cause I'm barely cool now. But I thought I was, and even though I had almost no friends and kids were mean to me and I got made fun of, I still did my own thing to the best of my ability. And because of all that, I really think it helped me grow.

That being said, I think ALL children should look ridiculous. Not because it's funny or mean, but because their kids. They should have fun, and be allowed to wear neon green socks with jellys or a pink tutu with a raincoat or whatever. That way, they too can appreciate the fact that once they're grown, they know how to dress and what's cool to them, rather than what their mom or the TV tells them. However, more and more I'm seeing kids that look cooler than most adults. And I'm not even talking about teenagers, I'm walking about pre-teens or "tweens," and they're looking older and cooler by the minute. What the hell? How are they ever gonna know that ridiculous awkwardness and the gratification that comes from conquering it if they all looked like they stepped right out of the Disney channel?

I'm not saying that I want kids to suffer and be dorks because I'm bitter or crazy or whatnot, but we grow and learn from our mistakes. And during that awkward pre-teen, early teen stage, we really start to develop our identities and how we fit into a group and society as a whole. So if all these kids are walking around looking like GAP Kid commercials, who will they become? When they look back on pictures of themselves looking cute and awesome at the age of 10, what will they learn? Will they learn anything? I am, as always, completely convinced that society is doomed, so having a generation of Stepford Children walking around is not helping me be any less paranoid. So all I can say to my peers is to treasure the awesome awfulness that was your childhood imagery, and please, please, whenever you have kids, let them look like a damn fool for the betterment of society.