Monday, February 23, 2009

Adventures in Dorkville.

As illustrated in the image above, I used to look like a huge dork. I've discovered that this is true for a lot of people in my age group (we can all thank the 80's for that), and though a lot of people seem to hide their former fashion misgivings, I LOVE mine. When I was a kid, my mom would let me pick out my own clothes and put together my own outfits, which granted, didn't always work out so well, but at least I got to try. As I got older, I'd look back at pictures of myself, and for a long time, I was totally ashamed of looking like a damn fool, but I learned from it, and I realized what worked and what didn't.

So now that I'm a semi-grown up with a decent sense of the world, I love looking back on these pictures because it's fraking hilarious. I totally thought that I looked cool, which is great, cause I'm barely cool now. But I thought I was, and even though I had almost no friends and kids were mean to me and I got made fun of, I still did my own thing to the best of my ability. And because of all that, I really think it helped me grow.

That being said, I think ALL children should look ridiculous. Not because it's funny or mean, but because their kids. They should have fun, and be allowed to wear neon green socks with jellys or a pink tutu with a raincoat or whatever. That way, they too can appreciate the fact that once they're grown, they know how to dress and what's cool to them, rather than what their mom or the TV tells them. However, more and more I'm seeing kids that look cooler than most adults. And I'm not even talking about teenagers, I'm walking about pre-teens or "tweens," and they're looking older and cooler by the minute. What the hell? How are they ever gonna know that ridiculous awkwardness and the gratification that comes from conquering it if they all looked like they stepped right out of the Disney channel?

I'm not saying that I want kids to suffer and be dorks because I'm bitter or crazy or whatnot, but we grow and learn from our mistakes. And during that awkward pre-teen, early teen stage, we really start to develop our identities and how we fit into a group and society as a whole. So if all these kids are walking around looking like GAP Kid commercials, who will they become? When they look back on pictures of themselves looking cute and awesome at the age of 10, what will they learn? Will they learn anything? I am, as always, completely convinced that society is doomed, so having a generation of Stepford Children walking around is not helping me be any less paranoid. So all I can say to my peers is to treasure the awesome awfulness that was your childhood imagery, and please, please, whenever you have kids, let them look like a damn fool for the betterment of society.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What I've Learned from My Bloody Valentine

This past weekend I got to see the new My Bloody Valentine in 3-D. And it was awesome. I saw it on Friday the 13th with my boyfriend(we would've seen Friday the 13th instead, but you know, ridiculous crowds) and I also saw it as a Valentine's semi-celebration. The theater was completely packed with all types of folks, all of whom screamed and laughed and had a great time along with us. It was a fantastic experience. And aside from it just being fun, I learned a few things, which I thought I would share.

Lesson #1: More movies should be in 3D.

Specifically horror and action type movies, but more nonetheless. This was the first live-action film I've seen in the new digital 3D, and it's totally like you're there. I saw Monster House in 3D, and while it was super awesome, it's still an animated film, so the 'being there' factor only goes so far. But having that extra dimension really adds to the scare factor, as well as the have-fun-and-yell-at-the-screen factor. I don't want to see normal dramas and comedies and whatnot in 3D, I feel like that would kinda be a waste, but how much fun would it be if the next Transformers movie were in 3D? Or Harry Potter? Or Jason vs. Freddy XII? I'm sure Hollywood is eighteen steps ahead of me, and they've planned this for every blockbuster of 2010. But I'm totally for it.

Lesson #2: Crazy=Immortal

I don't want to ruin the plot for anyone who hasn't seen it yet, so I won't go into specifics, but upon the reveal of who the killer is, I realized that the trick to immortality is to just go bat-shit crazy and start killing everyone. It's worked for Jason, Freddy, Michael Meyers, Leatherface, and countless others (I'm still no slasher expert, but I'm assuming there are more killers that this has worked for). So if everyone were to jump on board with this plan, we could bring down all of those companies who prey on people who never want to get old, while also keeping the population in check. I think it's a pretty solid plan.

Lesson #3: Jamie Kennedy's Hair

I think it's fair to say that Jamie Kennedy is totally movie star hot as a blonde, especially in things like Kitchen Confidential and Sin City. You know, that kind of ridiculous hot that is totally not believable and never works in real-life. But apparently all she has to do is go redd-ish brunnette, and BAM! Totally normal girl-next-door-hot. It was just refreshing, because so often in slasher films, you get these young hottie actresses who get all jacked up but still look like they just walked out of the salon. However, she was able to still bring the hottness, but in a believable small town damsel in distress sort of way. I was very impressed and hope to see more from her.

Overall, it's a great movie and a lot of fun. It you can still catch it in theaters, do so. But only if it's 3D.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

New York Comic Con Galore!

This past weekend was the New York Comic Con and I had a blast as I always do. I've only been going to comic conventions for the past few years, but they are one of my favorite things ever. It's completely and utterly fascinating to watch the going-ons and passer-bys at these things (my fascination with cons is probably a whole other post waiting to happen). But for now, I just wanted to share my highlights of the weekend.

I really have no interest in the actual comic book aspect of cons for the most part; my main goals are to buy cute things, get sketches, and people watch like a fox. I did pretty well with all of that this year.

As for toys (pictured above), I got an awesome Ugly Doll Ice Bat action figure (which is great, cause I love the plush dolls, but they are weird shaped and take up a lot of room); I got a Munny zipper pull (cause I had just lost my other one); A Zombie Ninja button from Ninjatown (in addition to a Ninjatown demon sketch and sticker from the creator); a super awesome Igor figure from the Nightmare Before Christmas that was originally $10, but the guy gave it to me for $5 (hooray!); a mini cactus pup and a regular one from Tokidoki (I'm just buying the tiny affordable cute Tokidoki things until I can afford one of those damn bags everyone else seems to have...hurm...); and not pictured I got some really cute hairclips with skulls and an awesome vintage looking Halloween pin (like a fancy pin, not a button).

I started my very first sketchbook last year at comic con (my theme is Monsters and Creatures) and I've gotten some pretty awesome stuff so far (check the whole thing on flickr). This year some of my trophies are a really cool Jamal Igle sketch, an Eduardo Risso sketch and a Dean Yeagle sketch that I had to buy a Mandy print in order to get (the pic at the very top), but I was totally fine with that. The above image is my favorite from this con. It was the first one I got, and I had really been wanting some sort of Cthulhu and I finally got one and he's super cute! Here's a picture of me standng in line waiting to get it:
I'm the ridiculously pale looking blonde girl, if you didn't know.

Anywho, some of the other highlights for me were catching the Wizard and Toyfare panels, both of which were incredibly entertaining, as well as the Hip Hop and Comics panel hosted by my friend Matt Powell. It was really weird to hear old-school rappers talk about being geeks and reading comics as kids and being so influenced by them, but also really awesome at the same time. And of course there's just seeing the randomness that is the attendees of conventions. I'm not gonna even try to go into it. If you've ever been, you know what I'm talking about, and if you haven't please go and see for yourself. But as you can see below, even fairly normal looking folks seem a little off at comic con.

By the end of both days I was completely exhausted and my feet felt like they would fall off. But I had a rocktacular time and got to hand out with great people, and I can't wait to do it again.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Good Idea, Bad Idea

With the interwebs being available at my fingertips 24/7, I often run into products that either greatly excite me, or freak me the hell out. So I thought I would share some.

Things that are awesome:

Lightsaber Umbrella

I'm all for interesting umbrellas. I really should collect more of them, especially since I now actually live in a place where it rains rather frequently. And I'm totally for umbrellas that are lighted, and I love that these are lighted from the base. I totally want to get multiples of these and have Jedi fights on rainy days.

Moss Mat

I love moss. It's the main reason I would want to live in an enchanted forest (you know, the whole barefoot princess wandering about. It would be rad). And moss is especially great when it's all moist and squishy, so keeping it in the bathroom would be perfect! The only problem is, I'm pretty sure this product is only theoretical, but I'm keeping my eye on it.

Sprint Commercials

There's a series of these, and I think only one was shown during the superbowl, but I'm very entertained by them. I don't know why.

Things that freak me out:

Bitchy Tee Shirt

I love the Little Miss and Mr. Men line of products, so crap like this pisses me off. I've always hated this self-branding of girls that perpetuates the idea that it's 'cool' to be a diva, or a bitch or a slut or whatever. How does that make you cool?

Sperm Donor Costume

Seriously? Who came up with this? I was looking for monk's robes for one of my customers and I happened upon this crap. I guess for frat boys, this is some pretty clever shit, but what chick would go for it? And therefore, what's the point? If I ever run into someone sporting this, I'm totally punching him in the nards.

Best Buy Commercials

These just annoy me. These, and those new Olive Garden commercials. They're so insincere. I've seen at least 3 of these things and they each make me want to punch the Best Buy person. And I'm sure they're nice people, but they totally come across like douchebags.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Everyone Gets a Part...(or 'A Quick Rant')

My current job title is 'Costume Rental Administrator'; I work for a theatrical supply company and my main job is to make sure that high schools and colleges get the costumes they need for their shows.

My company offers really nice costumes, however, not all schools have the budget to rent from us. For instance, when I was in high school, we had almost no theatre budget because we were a football school in Texas. That didn't matter to us though, because we were super dedicated and could make anything work, and it made us better people for it.

However, I've discovered working here, that there are many schools who seem to think that they are putting on Broadway shows and therefore need to have a HUGE production. But then it comes time to do the budget and they realize it won't work. So they call me up and whine and try to get extra discounts and free shipping and blah blah blah... Of course I want to help and support the arts and give these people the best show possible, but I'm starting to get tired of it. Especially because then I receive these orders, and I discover that these huge shows are really just 15 leading characters, and then upwards of 50 ensemble characters. What this says to me, is that these schools are following the millennial idea of 'everyone gets a part', which I think is bullshit.

My age-group straddles the line of kids who were raised normally, and these new kids who are super coddled; everyone gets a part, everyone wins a trophy, there are no losers, everyone is a unique and beautiful snowflake. And it's screwing these kids up. Once upon a time, you had to audition, and if you were awesome you were in, and if you weren't, you either worked crew or joined some decorating committee for a dance. Or, even better, you realized this wasn't for you so you figured out what you were good at and ran with it. Now, no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings, so kids get to be in the play, or they get to play in the game, or whatever, and they never realize that they aren't any good. There are kids out there who I'm sure realize this and just have fun with it, but then there are those that think they will grow up to be a superstar because no one told them to go and find something more substantial to do. So now we have all these kids who want to be rich and famous and they want everything handed to them (cause it always has been) and they're sucking the life out of our culture with reality TV and YouTube and whatnot.

Basically, it just frustrates me that these directors of shows are huge vaginas, and they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so they let everyone have a part, and then they have to provide costumes for everybody, so they come and bitch to me about it. Cowboy up people!