Things That Make Me Go Hurm.

So, I spend a lot of time on the Internet reading various news sites and blogs and whatnot (especially lately because my job means I do nothing in the summertime). And I'm constantly running across things that freak me out or greatly disturb me, and considering the fact that I've already accepted that we as a species are doomed, these types of articles only solidify this thought. So here, I've randomly collected some things that I would like to share with you, not so much for your enjoyment but more for your daily dose of 'oh-crap-things-are-fucked-up.' Enjoy.

• Fish are shrinking. Not just in numbers (which is a problem in and of its own) but also in size, which is going to create problems for us and numerous other creatures.
• With the economic crisis and high unemployment rates and all, people are starting to work for free. This article points out some reasons why that's good for both businesses and workers, but it seems to me that this is the kind of thing that will throw the whole employment system out of whack.
• Every week or so I find an article that basically says technology is destroying us and making us terrible people, like this one about how Twitter can make you amoral, or this one about cyberspace making the youth into sluts, or this one about how texting is causing anxiety in kids. Fun.
• I was just introduced to this Tumblr blog by my friend Ryan, and it shows some very interesting parental specimen. I highly recommend clicking through it, but prepare to be somewhat perturbed.
  
• Recently a small town in Wisconsin had a giant uproar and call for a book ban because of young adult books with sexual content (both hetero and homo) including The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I might remind you that it's 2009.
• There's always been idiotic talk of Obama not being a citizen, but for some reason as of late, that story has picked up some steam and now it's all about whether or not he's a 'natural born citizen.' This isn't going to go far enough to actually kick him out of office, but it worries me that just enough people will be convinced that he's not legit, because let's face it, most people are pretty stupid.
• Also on the Obama, because of this whole Gates debacle, he's having Gates and the arresting officer over for beers. Sounds totally cool to me, I'd love to have beers with the president. What worries me is the amount of coverage now being dedicated to the types of beer the men will be drinking, and whether or not they are appropriate choices. Come on people, seriously?

That's all for now, but I'm sure if I give a few more days, there will be plenty more troubling things...

Twilight at Comic Con-Yay or Nay?

So Comic Con is going on as I type this, and I really wish I could be there, but I just couldn't afford to go and it sucks, but whatever. Anywho, I've been seeing several stories pop up about the presence of Twilight at SDCC and whether or not it's a good thing. I imagine that if the Twi-hards incite a riot and somebody gets maimed or killed, we can all agree that it's bad, but if they're just there being annoying and screaming, how do you decide?

After some pondering at my desk while I have nothing to do, I've come to the conclusion that it's a bad thing. And here's why:

As best I can tell, comic conventions began as a means to unite kids who were into stuff that generally made them an outsider/geek/loser/whatever. You got to meet up with all these other people who liked the same stuff you did and understood where you were coming from. And if you look at most of the content that brought people together at these gatherings, it's all very positive. Superhero books are, for the most part, basically the classic tale of good vs. evil and rooting for the good guy to win; genre TV and movies, which have played a part in the nerd collective consciousness since at least Star Trek, most often promote themes of peace and acceptance (Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Star Wars). Combine these two aspects together, and you have a group of people, who are normally outsiders, being brought together by things they love which promote good, positive ideals. So far, so good, right?

However, for good and for ill, companies have begun to catch on to the fact that there's this huge fan base with disposable income, so conventions are becoming more and more about product placement and selling people crap they don't need (you know, like everything else in this society). And so, enter the Twilight crowd. On the one hand, I hate to criticize anything that has encouraged so many young people to read. On the other hand, it seems like it's a terrible, terrible chunk of literary crap (for those of you who read the books as a guilty pleasure and understand that they're not the cream of the crop, you're fine by me). I haven't read the books, but I've seen the first movie, and had the books described to me in great detail, so I think I get the gist. And while other geek-related media tend to have overall positive themes, I'm having a hard time finding the good in Twilight. It seems to be promoting both the 'prince charming' ideal of men, which I think is really unhealthy for developing minds, as well as a very strange take on the misogynistic idea of the submissive female who just does whatever a man wants her to do and constantly needs to be rescued, which also seems not so healthy. The books also reflect individualism in that these characters make rash decisions based on their own feelings, and seem to really only care about themselves and a few others, as opposed to other pieces of geek media which often revolve around the idea of the greater good.

As a more direct comparison, let’s look at Buffy vs. Twilight (I hear people say the two have nothing in common, but shut up, they do). Buffy, which is and probably always will be a staple of geek TV, is about a young girl who has great power and can defend herself as well as having to defend many others. She does have troubled relationships, but she actually experiences them and thinks them through rather than just doing the ‘I love you so much I can’t be apart from you and now nothing else in my life matters’ deal (most of the time). She and many of the other characters as well, often make sacrifices in an effort to save all of humanity, and so even though they have their own little problems, the theme of the greater good shows up again. Buffy shows that you can have a story about vampires and love and teen troubles that exists in the geek realm, and it can be positive and uniting and not just a sci-fi themed romance novel.

So I guess my main problem is that I don’t think Twilight belongs at Comic-Con, because it’s not really a geek thing. Just because it’s about vampires and the fans have that whole ‘I’m a geek’ thing going on, doesn’t mean it fits. I’m fine with the fact that conventions are branching out to incorporate other media and products, but it seems that the only intrinsic value that this particular phenomenon has to offer is financial gain. Yes, if you have a Twilight panel at SDCC, thousands of girls are going to come and spend money to see it. And while a lot of people say that maybe these kids will be introduced to new books at the convention, which is good for both them and the retailers and creators, will they? I’m sure some fans will wonder out and find Death Note or Sandman and lose their shit and then start reading all kinds of other books, but I’d be willing to bet that most of these kids only care about the Twilight books, and nothing else will faze them from a reading standpoint until the next big phenomenon happens.

So in short, I vote no on letting Twilight into my world of geekiness. Am I wrong? Thoughts?

Brilliant But Canceled: A How To.

In recent years, I've become a more avid lover of television, mainly because it keeps getting better. The problem is, most of my favorite stuff is too brilliant for this country and it tends to get very prematurely canceled. Sadly, I keep finding new shows to fall in love with, but I know that I'll never get to see them play out (I'm currently watching Deadwood and I'm somewhat leery to get to the end). So I've put together my all-star dreamteam, which is both brilliant and sure to get canceled, most likely within a season.
Jason Bateman

Best known for, and what I know him for, his awesome portrayal of the straight man on Arrested Development (and I'll only address this once; if you haven't seen it and you care anything at all about television, watch it now, dammit). But apparently he was also on this other show that got canned, The Jake Effect, and though he's landed a few movie roles (yeah Teen Wolf Too!) he's yet to blow up big time, so he's a perfect headliner for my fictitious show.
Nathan Fillion

Nathan Fillion's portrayal of Malcolm Reynolds on Firefly is one of my favorite leading man roles (I'm normally more of a sidekick lover). He's snarky and pretty and manly and awesome and really needs to be in more stuff. Drive was apparently supposed to get really good, and it probably would've made him a bigger star, but it too was yanked off the air. I think in my fictional show, he might have a slightly smaller role (below Bateman), but he's proved in both Two Guys and a Girl and Buffy that he can be just as awesome in a small role as when he's a lead.
Lee Pace

Piemaker...Sigh....Another rare leading man I love, and I'm also not normally into the lovey-dovey type characters, but he was so wonderful on Pushing Daisies (and I haven't seen the last 3 episodes and if you ruin them I will kill you!). And he was also great on Wonderfalls, which I highly recommend even though it didn't last a whole season. I have high hopes for him, but he seems a likely addition to this cast. And if you look at him, Fillion and Bateman, they could all very well be brothers. I'm sensing my fictional show will revolve around the family unit in some way...
Peter Krause

I know that he was on Six Feet Under which was a great success and it lasted forever, but apparently Sports Night was one of those super great shows that got the axe (I've never seen it) and from what I understand, his newest show Dirty Sexy Money just got cancelled (correct me if I am wrong). I just saw ads for a Parenthood TV show, but it looks like it's going to be good, so it too might not last. So anyways, I've tacked him on here. He's normally this sweet, semi-troubled Everyman, but I would love to see him be the bad guy, so he's my make-believe villain.
Nicholas Brendan

I love my Xander. I miss him. And I put him on this list because of Kitchen Confidential, which was fantastic, and I'm very pleased that Bradley Cooper is going to be such a huge star cause he totally deserves it. But anyway. Xander will be the show's quirky odd-ball guy. Even though that role tends to be filled by some nobody who then becomes a somebody, but he'll be my place-holder for now.
Judy Greer

I first remember her from Jawbreaker, which she was great in, and everything else I've ever seen her do as well. But her show cancelling record is pretty impressive: Arrested Development, Miss Guided, and Love Monkey. So she's on the list. And I think maybe it's her turn to be leading lady on a show (I know she was on that Miss Guided show, but whatever). Perhaps she can be Bateman's love interest and then all us Arrested fans can have a giggle.
Sarah Paulson

She was sweet and funny on Studio 60 and cunning and sassy on Deadwood, and for me that's a perfect range. I know she was supposed to be a hottie in The Spirit, but seeing as that bombed, I'm not sure when she'll rocket to stardom. So in the meantime, she's on my show. I'm not sure exactly what kind of role I'd like to see her in, maybe something semi-authoritative, and maybe even bordering antagonist. Maybe a love-hate kind of thing (i.e. Sam and Diane) and she'd look rather shiny next to Nathan Fillion. I'm just saying.
Portia de Rossi

Okay, maybe I've loaded this list with a little too many Arrested Devleopment people, but they're all so great and most of them can't seem to catch a break. Anyways, I've loved her since Ally McBeal, which though it lasted a long time, it did get cancelled. And apparently Nip/Tuck won't get to live out it's last season, and though I haven't seen Better Off Ted, it looks clever enough to not get renewed. So she's in too! I've seen her do cold and stern, flighty and vapid, and earth mother lesbian, so I dunno, maybe wacked out neighbor? Dowdy wife? It'll all get figured out I'm sure.

Most of these brilliant shows also have repeat cancelling producers and writers. I'm not going to go into detail about each of these guys, I'm just gonna list some of the stuff they were involved with.

Tim Minear: Wonderfalls, Firefly, Drive
Bryan Fuller: Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies, Wonderfalls
Aaron Sorkin: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Sports Night, The West Wing
Bryan Grazer: Arrested Development, Friday Night Lights, Sports Night, Miss Match

Also, the show would definitely be multi-layered, with plots spanning entire seasons and humor that might not be for everyone. It would be glorious, and it totally wouldn't last. But these are just my thoughts. And there are several people I didn't involve because they've luckily gone on to become quite successful, but who else might you add to the list?

Lady Hottness

In recent years the concept of 'lady crushes' has really taken off, and it seems like Hollywood now picks up actresses with not only men in mind when in comes to admiration, but chicks as well. And I for one am very open and honest about my lady crushes. I'd have to say, though, that a lady crush is different from when a guy has a thing for an actress in that it's part 'hey she's really hot' but also 'wow, I kinda wish I was her/friends with her/whatever.' So here are my top 5 current lady crushes, and then my top 5 non-lady crushes. Enjoy!

The Ladies I Love

Isla Fisher

This lady crush is fairly new (say, last couple of years), but it may be my biggest lady crush of all time. First off, I have a thing for redheads (which probably stems from watching Anne Margaret, Pippi Longstocking, and The Little Mermaid as a kid) so she had me hooked since I first saw her in Wedding Crashers. But then on top of that, she's absolutely adorable which totally shows in Hot Rod (which my boyfriend constantly tries to get me to watch). Then she was really funny in Definitely, Maybe and Horton Hears a Who (and I haven't seen the Confessions movie, but it looks precious). So yeah, hot, adorable and funny. What more could anyone ever want?

Katee Sackhoff

I was really hesitant to watch Battlestar Galactica for the longest time, but when I finally gave in I discovered it was a really great show. And it had a kick-ass character named Starbuck who was this sassy tough broad with sometimes a heart of gold. And I loved her. She was all cute with her tomboy haircut and strong facial features and always up in peoples shit and starting fights and all that other good stuff. Her character has a really fantastic arc, and even though the show lagged in a few places, she was always strong and fun to watch. So it's probably not so much that I have a lady crush for Sackhoff, it's more for Starbuck, but I'll take what I can get.

Emma Stone

I really like Emma Stone because she seems to be what Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be. I had a huge brief lady crush on Lohan during the Mean Girls era, but then she took a quick, hard turn into yuckiness and now she's doing whatever the hell it is she's up to. But Emma has that red-haired, brown-eyed, raspy voice thing going on, and she seems to be rising to fame slowly rather than at light-speed, so maybe she'll make it out okay. I haven't seen too much of her yet, but she was fun in Superbad, she and Anna Faris were the only watchable parts of The House Bunny, and she did the whole cool girl thing well in The Rocker. I have high hopes for her.

Amanda Seyfried

She's just really cute. I love her big expressive eyeballs and pouty lips; it's a very doll-like look she has. I enjoy everything I've seen her in (even Mamma Mia which my mom made me watch) and she's always really lovable. She can do the dumb blonde thing, the fairly serious acting thing and the singing/dancing thing. I'm really excited to see what else she does.

Mary-Louise Parker

So there's two things I love about Mary-Louise Parker: she's absolutely gorgeous with her pale skin and big eyes, and she's got that vacant, blank expression that somehow conveys every emotion she ever needs. She was great in things like Fried Green Tomatoes and Boys on the Side back in the day, and now she's kicking ass on Weeds. And these pin-up style advertisements they do for that show probably have something to do with my love of her. But I could just sit and watch her do nothing.

The Ladies Who I'm Supposed to Love, but

Don't Really Do It For Me

Angelina Jolie
So, I used to love Angelina, especially during the whole Gia/Girl, Interrupted era. But then she kept popping up as these bad-ass assassin type characters, and then she broke up Brad and Jennifer and I just started losing interest. And she's starting to seem really preachy and over the top with all those kids she's collecting. Plus I literally ran into her and Brad when I was working at FAO Schwarz and she's super skinny and sick looking and it really makes my heart sad. Sigh...

Megan Fox

So, I get it, she's hot. And people keep saying she's like the new Angelina (hooray...). But there's something about her that totally turns me off. Maybe it's that she's too sexy and that's all she ever seems to be. I'm all for eye candy, but the problem is when no one acknowledges the fact the eye candy can't always act and is sometimes a hindrance, you get Jessica Alba type situations (who I'm glad seems to be laying low now). But I have a feeling Fox isn't going away anytime soon, so I guess I will have to deal.

Adriana Lima

Another girl who, yeah I know, she's super hot. But to me she seems really boring. I used to have a huge crush on Gisele Bundchen and I still kinda do on Heidi Klum, so I am appreciative of Victoria's Secret models, but this one is just blah to me. Every picture I've seen of her looks the same, yes, she's hot, but there's never been anymore to it for me. I think she's married now or something, so maybe she'll go off and have babies and they'll find some new hotness to wear lingerie.

Hayden Panettierre

Okay, so Hayden broke my heart. She was a super cute child-actor and she was in such random roles that it seemed like she'd grow up and continue that trend and be really cool and groovy. But no. This stupid show called Heroes snatched her up and permanently branded her a cheerleader. And the other roles she's taken haven't really done much to stray her away from that image. She could very well be a lovely girl, but she gives off the vibe of bitchy high school snob. Maybe she'll land some really cool role and turn everything around. But probably not.

Scarlett Johansson

I've always thought she was really pretty, but the thing is, she used to be pretty and interesting. Back in the days of Ghost World and Lost in Translation, she seemed really cool and had such promise. But then everyone found out that she was sexy and now she always seems to take these roles where she's just pouty and has big boobs. She's basically the new Marilyn, only not as fun and it's already been proven that she's much more talented than that and so it seems like a waste.

So yeah. That's that. And now for your viewing pleasure, all the other pictures of Isla Fisher that I found. (click to enlarge...)

Apocalyse Wow!

So I'm convinced the world is ending, that's nothing new. But I like to have fun with the idea and look for the silver lining. Now, the world could 'end' in many different ways: plague, nuclear war, zombies, whatever. But, if it happens, what I'm hoping for is the complete obliteration of human beings save for myself and maybe a few others, and the earth in relatively good condition (think The Quiet Earth or I Am Legend minus the weird zombie creatures).

I've got this great game I play with my Rickey sometimes where we decide what we would do if this situation happens, and here are my highlights...

Step 1. Steal a diesel and head toward Austin. On the way there, fill the truck with as many generators, batteries, foods, supplies and whatnot I might find on the way there. Also, raid every book store for all the 'how-to' books on practical things (building, cooking, crafting, etc) and whatever else looks cool.

Step 2. Pick a cool place to settle in. Maybe right downtown or on the campus (it's so pretty and it'd be right next to Toy Joy! which would still be rockin post-apocalypse). I'd hit up cool furniture and housing stores as well as art galleries and museums and pimp out my place.

Step 3. Just assume that during the above steps I/we managed to get food and shelter and basic needs and stuff all under control and are now at the point of killing time. And the awesome begins:

-gather up every piece of canvas and drop of paint (especially oil) and paint like the dickens.; especially huge Pollack sized pieces that I would continue to coat until the paint was 3 inches thick. Then I'd take them and hang them in the museum so that if later when aliens drop by the planet and investigate, I too will be considered a great artist.

-create and play in my Kid Cave.

-collect couture gowns, shoes, hats, shiny jewelry and Mac cosmetics and get fabulous on a daily basis (I've loved dressing up since I was kid, and still would if people wouldn't look at me funny).

-on that same note, I would take all the money out of banks and turn it into origami and make giant wings out of it. And then adorn them with diamonds and emeralds and goodies.

-go hunting with semi-automatic weapons in departments filled with mannequins and also take a baseball bat to BMW's, Lexus' and Porsches.

-figure out the whole self-developing process of film and go to town with my Nikon.

-find a Chevelle and drive around in circles on the highway like that one commercial.

-should there be a group of us, I'd insist on organizing giant RPG versions of Zombies! and D&D and whatever else would involve us running around and attacking each other for funsies. Also elaborate games of capture the flag and life-sized Battleship and Chess. Oh and lots of paintball.

-set fire to those creepy all-houses-look-the-same subdivisions and make smores while I'm at it.

-paint huge fun murals on all the other buildings I do like.

-drop parachute action figures from the tops of high-rises. It'd be great if I could find the Ninja Turtle ones I had when I was a kid.

-plant crazy flower gardens in run down cars and little kiosks and fountains that no longer flowed.

-play Frisbee with those super skinny laptops. Or maybe not so much Frisbee, but throwing them really hard and then watching them shatter on concrete.

-organize huge parades of wind up toys and remote-controlled cars and other gadgets.

-re-learned to roller-skate and go everywhere.

So yeah. That's my plan. I'm sure there are other things I'd do but this is all for now. Bring on the apocalypse! You know you want it...

Theatrical Casting: The Breakfast Club

The other day I saw some Hayden Panettiere and she just reminded me of those bitchy, preppy girls from high school, and I started thinking that there were probably little cliques in Hollywood, especially young Hollywood. Then I thought how great would it be if a bunch of random stars were stuck together in a Breakfast Club type situation, but not a movie remake (cause no one needs to remake that movie, even though I'm sure it's just a matter of time before someone does). And then I was hanging out with my friend Andy and he mentioned how he would love to see a theatrical version of The Breakfast Club, and I was like, Of Course!

So here are my thoughts on who should be cast in this fictional, let's say Off-Broadway, production...

Zac Efron as Andrew Clark

Yeah, he's not super jocky, but he did play a basketball star in all three of the High School Musical movies, so I think he can pull it off. I'm not sure about his acting chops when it comes to the breakdown scene, but if he can act as well as he can dance and sing, I think he's all set. Plus, we all know he's super dreamy and he's totally the kind of guy that you'd love to see the weird, misunderstood girl hook up with.

Hayden Panettiere as Claire Standish

I really like Hayden in Remember the Titans and Malcolm in the Middle; she was super cute! So I thought for sure she would to grow to be a spunky, cool teen star. But instead she became the icon for cheerleader perfection. Bleh. But I still think she's got some good acting stuff rolling around in her, so she seems like the perfect candidate to play the over-burdened princess who falls for the criminal.

Michael Cera as Brian Johnson

He's everyone's favorite dork, ever since Arrested Development. And unfortunately he seems to be type cast all over the place (except for Scott Pilgrim, I just don't get that). But I think he would be great in this role, because he's normally so awkward that it's really comedic, yet this nerd is more tame, more quiet and very introspective. He basically at the point of suicide and he's really not in the mood for joking. I think it would be fantastic.

Kat Dennings as Allison Reynolds

Kat Dennings just seems really cool, and all the roles I 've seen her in so far (except maybe The House Bunny) are really cool and a little different. She's also quite hot in an off-beaten path kinda way. She could totally go from grungy weird girl to preppy hottie in the course of a couple of hours.

Channing Tatum as John Bender

While Tatum might be better known for his roles in Step Up and Fighting (and soon G.I. Joe), he was really fantastic in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, so don't think I'm crazy for picking him for such an intense role. But he's got the bulk to pull of being a tough bad guy/bully, yet he's handsome enough to be lovable and let our hearts go out to him. He just needs to be scruffed up a bit and he's all set.

Alec Baldwin as Richard Vernon

Baldwin has become known as a great comedy actor thanks to his appearances on SNL, 30 Rock and random films, but back in the day he was a serious actor, so he's got the best of both worlds. The original Principal had that whole wirey, squirrely look, so Baldwin might have to lose a few pounds to really embody the role, or he might just take it some other direction and be super awesome on his own.

Chris Meloni as Carl

If you've seen Wet Hot American Summer, you totally get this and know how awesome it would be. If you haven't, go watch it now.

So yeah. Let that roll around in your head for a minute. Think about the dance sequence, and the confession scene, and the Principal stuff. How awesome would that be?

Blockbuster Blowout!

I was going through Entertainment Weekly's Summer Movie Issue, and I realized that there are a lot of movies coming out that I'm pretty psyched for, so I narrowed down the list to the 10 that I would love to see in theaters. I meant to get this up sooner, but that didn't happen, so I've already seen one...Oh well.

Star Trek- I saw this over the weekend and it was fantastic! I was really hoping it would be a fun, romping good sci-fi flick and it totally was. I highly recommend checking this out in theaters if you can.

Drag Me to Hell-I love Sam Raimi. And I'm not big on the Spiderman movies. So his return to over-the-top gore and horror and goodness has gotten me very excited. And Allison Lohman has done well in everything I've seen from her, so this has to be awesome.

Up- Pixar. 3-D. What else do you need?

Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen-The first Transformers movie was very exciting despite the fact that it didn't make any sense and was highly illogical. But this one has even more robots! And they're bigger! And they beat they crap out of each other and all kinds of other stuff!

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince-I don't read the books, but I really enjoy the movies. They have cute and wacky creatures, magic and everyone's British. And as they've become increasingly darker I've liked them more and more. So I'll be there, and I might even go in costume.
(these are the less 'blockbuster-y' movies that I want to check out...)

The Hangover-You all know this trailer is hilarious, so no one should hesitate to go see it. Bradley Cooper has been popping up all over the place for the past few years and everything he does is great. I'm a little iffy on the whole Mike Tyson thing, but between Andy from the office and Zack Galikfishiohojnkjiis (or whatever), I can let it slip.

Moon-This one might be hard to see as it's an independent release so I might find it somewhere in Manhattan if I'm lucky and really diligent. But it looks creepy and dark and that mixed with Sam Rockwell's inherent wackiness/lovability, it seems fantastic. It also seems like the kind of thing that will be huge post-DVD release, which is another reason I'd want to see it on the big screen.

(500) Days of Summer-I love Zooey Deschanel. She kinda plays the same character all the time, but I don't care and I will watch anything she's in. And I'm not always a sucker for romance stories, but this one looks really nice and special and different.

Funny People-The first trailer I saw made me tear up. I love all three leads, Apatow is a genius, his kids are precious and hilarious, and I keep hearing 'Oscar Buzz' about it. I can't wait.

Inglorious Basterds-It's a really late summer movie, but it counts. I'll see whatever Taratino puts out, no matter what it is. But I love Brad Pitt (not Benjamin Button Brad Pitt, but Fight Club and Ocean's 11 Brad Pitt) and I'm all for scalping Nazis...

So yeah. I'd love to see all of these in theaters. It probably won't happen, and instead I'm sure I'll get dragged to some other movies, but almost all summer blockbusters are fun to see in theaters.