Thursday, June 10, 2010

Some Science and Philisophy Shit...

I know no one comes here to read actual thoughts and opinions, but bear with me for a little science/philosophy/sci-fi nonsense..

I was watching a Yale university lecture on Death, and more specifically, the origins of a theorized soul. The professor was talking about how a soul is something that would be immaterial, unable to be measured, seen or felt. The argument was that, if this were the case, it could continue living on after the death of the body. This made me think about the Higgs boson particle that scientists are trying to find at CERN via the Large Hadron Collider.

The general idea behind the Higgs boson, to my understanding, is that it is smallest particle in existence, that it's literally the shit holding every atom in the universe together. Because of this, it's referred to as the 'God particle,' and it's possible that it might be immeasurable, and all the work put into finding it could be for naught. This is all really interesting to me cause I'm a huge dork and probably should've been an engineer like my dad wanted, but whatever.

Anywho, the thought I had last night was, what if the Higgs boson particle is the thing that gives us a soul? Or it is our soul? Maybe every object in the universe has a little force like this and they just function in different ways. I'm not really going to expand on that, just let it roll around in your head for awhile.

My second thought was, what if, at CERN, when they're shooting particles towards each other at a bajillion miles per second, they get a hit and find the Higgs boson? And then, by releasing it, they unleash a soul....And then it goes crazy and fucking swallows the world whole. But in a much more angry and vicious way than just a regular black hole like people are expecting.

So yeah. Those were my fancy Wednesday night thoughts.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Re-Casting: First Wives Club

So Hollywood seems to have run out of ideas and is currently remaking every movie ever made. It's obnoxious when they remake a great movie and make it mediocre or even crappy, but I'm all for taking mediocre or crappy movies and making them awesome.

I recently re-watched The First Wives Club with the magic of my Netflix Instant Queue and it is so not as great as I thought it was back in middle school when I would watch it repeatedly on HBO. However, there was potential for greatness: the cast was awesome, the plot starts out pretty dark, but then it gets loaded with cheese and becomes all sappy. I think if it were to be re-made as a dark, black comedy, it could pretty awesome. Sassy, talented, older actresses taking real revenge on the husbands who screwed them over for younger women, with a little more violence and mischief--that could be hilarious!
Demi Moore as Elise Elliot

The actress in this role needs to still be sexy and viable but not as sought after as she once was, and Demi Moore would be perfect for that. She hit big in the 80's with Ghost and St. Elmo's Fire wife who's on Twitter all the time. But she's still super hot and super talented. I could definitely see her pull off getting tossed aside for a young , and stayed pretty popular throughout the 90's, but now she's more known as Ashton Kutcher'shottie and then seek revenge in a bad-ass fashion.
Elizabeth Perkins as Brenda Cushman

So this character needs to be both a loving mother and a little spitfire willing to blackmail her sleazy ex-husband. Elizabeth Perkins has played all types of roles, but the thing she is probably most known for and what I love her in is Weeds. In those first two seasons she is fantastic. She's hilarious. She's conniving but still very human and funny all at the same time. She's beautiful, but could still be dressed down and go through her 'butterfly' transformation to kick some ass at the end of the film.
Toni Collette as Annie Paradis

This is role of the nerd. The mousy one who is afraid to do anything at all. She's super neurotic and over-analyzes everything which is why Diane Keaton was such a perfect choice for the role. Toni Collette has played all sorts of roles (I think my favorite is as Brian Slade's super-fake wife in Velvet Goldmine) so I think she can do anything. She too is beautiful but not in such a striking fashion that you'd disbelieve she could be a dork. She has to be both the straight man but be able to get in a few laughs, and I believe she just one an Emmy for her role in The United States of Tara, so there you go.
Tim Roth as Bill Achtison

And now for the husbands. This is the scummy Hollywood husband who is both charming and icky at the same time. And there isn't anything Tim Roth can't do, so I think he's perfect. Plus he's handsome in an unconventional way and you could totally see some young actress trying to sleep her way through him to become famous.
Nick Offerman as Morton Cushman

I knew nothing of Nick Offerman before Parks and Rec, but now Ron Swanson is one of my favorite characters of all time. It turns out he's younger than I thought, but whatevs, I'd love to see him as a dry, money-hungry, recently turned sugar daddy. Plus for some reason, I think he and Elizabeth Perkins would have great chemistry together.
Dylan Moran as Aaron Paradis

This husband is an intellectual but not quite as nerdy as his female counterpart, but he's also just a little bit slick. Between Moran being the funniest part of Run Fatboy Run and his dry, cowardice in Shaun of the Dead, I think he'd be perfect for this role. Using psycho-analytical bullshit to comfort his wife while screwing the psychiatrist on the side, you'd hate him and love him at the same time.
Billie Piper as Shelly Stewart

This mistress has to be nouveau-riche--classy on the surface but the trashiness slips out every so often. I just got into Doctor Who and I loved Billie Piper as the sweet Rose Tyler, and I tried to watch Secret Diary of a Call Girl, but it's just too weird to watch her be all scandalous. But I think a role like this (somewhere in the middle of those two extremes) would suit her well. Kinda bitchy but still kinda sweet and funny. I could definitely believe she'd have a middle-aged man wrapped around her finger.
Leighton Meester as Phoebe LaVelle

I actually haven't seen Leighton Meester in anything except a lot of Gossip Girl commercials, but she seems to have that lolita-esque pouty thing down pat. This character needs to believably look 25 but actually be 16, and she seems to have that too (since I can't figure out how old she actually is). I could also see her striving to be like the Demi Moore character who would in turn hate her and just want her to go away.
Jessica Walter as Gunilla Garson Goldberg

This character needs to be a sassy old rich broad who's gone through multiple husbands and has no tolerance for shenanigans. And I just love Lucille Bluth and want to see Jessica Walter do more stuff stuff. So there.
Alan Tudyk as Duarto Feliz

Again, this is just another actor who I love and want to see in everything. However, his role in 28 Days as the oversexed, over the top, gay, German fellow was fantastic and I'd love to see him in more roles like that.

So yeah. Imagine all these people in a dark, comedic, revenge film. Imagine it's coming out next fall. It would be awesome, yes?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Birthday Bazinga Mix!


So this weekend is my birthday!! It actually falls on Easter, which happens every few years or so, but whatevs. I can deal. Anywho, instead of having a party or shin-dig, I decided to take a trip down to Baltimore with my Rickey. I used to live there when I was like 2 or 3 (acutally the above picture may have been taken there) and my Mom tells me it was pretty cool. But the thing is, it's gonna be a total of 8 hours of driving, so in addition to comedy albums and awesome CD's, I made myself a wicked cool birthday mix! I'm pretty proud of myself:

1. Goody Two Shoes-Adam Ant
2. I Have a Dreidel-Barenaked Ladies
3. Clint Eastwood-Gorillaz
4. Ooh La La-Goldfrapp
5. Come Out and Play-Richard Cheese
6. Telephone-Lady Gaga
7. Istanbul-They Might Be Giants
8. Seven Nation Army-The White Stripes
9. Intergalactic-Beastie Boys
10. Sleigh Ride-Barenaked Ladies
11. Home-Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros
12. Always-Erasure
13. Semi-Charmed Life-Third Eye Blind
14. Turning Japanese-The Vapors
15. Can't Stop-Red Hot Chili Peppers
16. Man in the Mirror-Michael Jackson
17. Slow Hands-Interpol
18. Any Way You Want It-Journey
19. Little Lion Man-Mumford & Sons
20. Drop It Like Its Hot-Snoop Dog ft. Pharrel
21. I Believe in a Thing Called Love-The Darkness

So yeah. It's rad. Drop me a line if you want me to send you the mix. I'll be partying it up in my little Honda. Word.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Persuaders, and why advertising has doomed us all.

[This is one of those posts where I talk about things that actually matter to me. No one ever seems to read them, but if you're at all paranoid about the future of our country, please, have a gander.]

So last night I watched a Frontline special called 'The Persuaders' which was about how advertising and marketing work nowadays, since we've all been super saturated with media and ads. It was really interesting, but a lot of the advertising stuff was nothing new to me; I know that advertisers spend tons of money trying to get into our heads and figure out how to make us feel like we 'belong' to a brand and therefore will spend all our money on crap we don't need. That wasn't very surprising.

What I found most interesting came toward the end of the film, when it was revealed that politicians are starting to use the same methods as advertisers. This documentary was released in 2004, I believe before Bush was re-elected, and I'd really love to see a follow up to it now, after Obama's brilliantly successful campaign in which he really did brand his administration and sell the shit out of it. But I digress...

There's this super crazy company that works for advertisers called Acxiom, and what they do is work with banks and credit card companies and all sort of other entities to gather information on each of us: what we buy, what we like, where we are in life, etc. They then sell that information to advertisers so that they can narrow-cast advertisements to us (think Minority Report with the crazy eyeball scanning thing). Apparently politicians are starting to use companies like this as well. On the one hand, this a good thing. A candidate can find the people who are more likely to vote for them and send specified messages to voters as opposed to just talking in broad strokes to everyone and not really clicking with anyone.

However, the downside to this is something that really concerns me and I think speaks volumes to our current political climate. By breaking people down into little groups, and only talking about what matters to them, you run the risk of segregating the entire nation to the point where no one can agree on anything. Here's an excerpt of the transcript that really lays this out:

STUART EWEN, Hunter College: When you start sending messages which appeal to sort of, you know, white people in pick-up trucks, and then you're also sending messages to black people in Cleveland, and it's a qualitatively different kind of message, you're really trying to stir – or you're really trying to appeal to those aspects of people which sees themselves as different from each other.

PETER SWIRE: Instead of being Americans, we're sliced into 70 demographic groups. We might be sliced into hundreds of subcategories under that. And then the worry is that we don't share anything as a people.

STUART EWEN: The result is living in a society where people, rather than having an idea of the common good, increasingly see their own personal well-being or their own community's or ethnicity's well-being as the essential issue of democracy.

The film of course ends on a message of hope and how the savvier the consumers are, the better everything will be and blah blah blah. I think people are getting smarter about buying stuff (most people anyways), but the thing that really concerns me is treating politics like advertising. People don't pay attention to the government as it is, and if some politician is able to sell themselves like an iPod even though they may be corrupt and have terrible and damaging policies, we're screwed. I really worry that people are paying less and less attention to anything but themselves, and that's not going to get us anywhere but doomed.

Monday, February 22, 2010

My Lost Hopes

Okay, I know every Lost fan has his/her own wishes for what the show will address in its final episodes. But this post isn't about that kind of stuff. It's just about ridiculous, random shit that I would greatly enjoy should it happen.
Jack Shepard meets Derek Shepherd

My bubble was slightly burst on this one when I Googled both of them and discovered their last names were spelled differently, but whatever. This is something I've wanted to happen since the first season. I'm no longer a huge Grey's Anatomy fan (mainly because it sucks now), but the two of them are both doctors, with ridiculous emotional issues and they're very good at pulling off that whole handsome, distraught genius thing, and they're both on ABC shows. It's totally logical that Derek would show up on Lost as Jack's cousin whom he's always had a doctor rivalry with, or something. It would make my geek heart go pitter-patter, and I want it.More Lt. Daniels!

I know he was killed off and is now a member of the Fringe team (which I haven't watched yet, but I will!) but between 2008-2009, I watched all 5 seasons of The Wire and I was super smitten. I don't really care what else he would do on Lost, I just want some Wire representation.Lost meets Jurassic Park

This really only has to do with the fact that both productions were filmed in Hawaii, but how great would it be if a group of the survivors ran around some corner, only to run into Sam Neil and the gang running from dinosaurs? And then they're all running from dinosaurs and Hurley says something funny and some red shirt gets eaten. It would be awesome!Doctor Who Crossover!

I've recently added Doctor Who to my geek repertoire, and I think this would be less of a Lost episode, and more of a Who episode, but seeing as how he goes all over time and space, he could definitely pop up on the island. And he would get a huge kick out of all the crazy time/space issues that tend to happen. All I'd really need to be satisfied with a crossover is for Jack or New Locke or someone to go running through the jungle and pass the Tardis. It would be joyous!Back to the Future

Ever since they started jumping through time, I've been waiting for someone (most likely Hurley) to say "We need to go back. Back to the future!", but like in a totally serious way. There's still time...
More Deadwood!

So I watched the first 5 seasons of Lost without having seen any Deadwood, so I missed out on all the glorious cameos. But now that I've seen the whole series since the last season of Lost, I just want more people to show up. Maybe get in a bar fight, yell some profanity, kill folks for no reason. It all would make sense in the Lost continuity, I'm sure.Mac meets the Gang

This wish was reignited when Mac showed back up a couple episodes ago. There'd be no reason for it, but it would be a great outtake or something, but how great would it be if he's wandering through the woods trying to fix his screw up (assuming he's not dead) and runs into these 3 idiot outcasts of the Others. They'd be all "Hey man, let's get in on this" and he'd be all "NO guys, this is my thing, I need to look cool" and they'd still screw it up.More Nathan Fillion

I just love Mal, and always will. And this is probably the most likely situation to happen out of all of these.

But whatever else happens, I'm still excited and so fr enjoying this last season. Namaste!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Things that please me.

In the past, my internet round-ups have focused on news and events that troubled me, but with all the ridiculous awfulness that's been happening lately, I'm trying to focus on the positive. So here's a gathering of some sites that are helping me get by.
-I've always fancied myself as a cat person, and they've always been my default favorite animal, but I've been going to the zoo alot lately and am becoming smitten with more and more types of animals. One of them is the otter (look at him!)! And I can get my fix daily at Daily Otter. If you're ever feeling a little down, scan through some pictures of otters being awesome (there are videos too!) and it'll totally perk you up.
-I just discovered this site yesterday via Twitter, but it's so awesome and cute and fun. It's 'My Milk Toof' and it's these photo comic strips where two little teeth get into wacky situations. It's precious.

-It Made My Day:
"I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end. IMMD"
People submit short little stories of awesome things that made their day. I read it every morning. And so should you.
-When I was younger, for some reason I thought Martha Stewart was the devil. That's slowly shifted and now I LOVE her. A lot of that has to do with her super awesome line of craft supplies at Michael's, but nonetheless, she's radical. And look at her taste in dogs! Smushed-face monsters and big fluffy creatures! It's a perfect combination. I want them.

-Kawaii Not: I saw this book at Barnes and Noble back in the day with these little comics strips of cute objects saying/doing ridiculous shit. I figured out it started as a webcomic and look how cute they are!

-This one is a little on the sappy side, but it's got some really nice stories. It's 'Gives Me Hope', and it's similar to It Made My Day, but it's more focused on love and joy and the kindness of strangers and all that jazz. Again, I warn you that it's sappy, but sometimes it's really, really nice.-And as always there's I Can Has Cheezburger, which if you aren't reading, you really should be.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

JJ Abrams Loves his Time Warps.

So is it just me or is the time warp that's going on in Lost basically the same thing that happened in the new Star Trek?

In Star Trek, everything that has happened in the show and previous movies stays the same, but Nero drives his ship through a blackhole and kills Kirk's father and destroys his ship, which creates a new timeline running alongside the original one. Nothing from the first timeline changes, the history is all still intact, but basically starting at Kirk's birth, there's a whole other reality where anything could happen. Nothing from the first timeline has any effect on this one (save for Spock slipping through the blackhole and interacting with new Kirk).
So the same thing totally happened on Lost, right? Granted, there's been a whole lost of wacky time travel going on prior to the Event, but as far as we know, that was all contained in one timeline, and characters just happened to be jumping around inside it. But then, at the end of Season 5, they set off the bomb in 1970's which seems to have split one timeline into two. The first is the one they were already a part of: Dharma folks are on the Island, they hit that pocket of energy, which means Desmond has to push the button for years, and then the plane crashes and our fun little TV show begins and craziness ensues. The second timeline seems to indicate that the bomb worked, the pocket of energy never got tapped, somehow the Island ended up under water, and the plane does not crash and the survivors are going on their merry way.

The Star Trek timelines did not affect each other except for Spock slipping through the blackhole (but he was smart enough not to do anything crazy). We've yet to see if the Lost timelines have any effect on each other (prior to the bomb going off), but I'd be really curious to see if there is a blackhole situation on Lost in which someone can slip through and have an affect on the other timeline (and though Spock is super logical and didn't mess with anything, I can't see our castaways being so smart).

Point is, I'm really excited to see how all this works out. I find time travel (especially when done well) super fascinating but also incredibly difficult to wrap my head around, which is a lot of fun for me (Primer had me working shit out in my head for days). I'm totally in for the ride.